We hope you had a great time at the Leesburg Area Chamber Holiday Gala. If you’ve found your way to this page, it means one (or more) of the 12 horribly cheesy holiday themed “Dad Jokes” told by your MC – and Red Apples Media president – Marc Robertz-Schwartz, resonated with you or, better yet, inspired you to retell one or more of them. So here they are!

  1. Mariah Cary almost became a Florida resident. She recently learned that ancestors left her a plot of undeveloped land in Christmas. But she donated it back to the city. When asked why, she replied, “I don’t need a lot in Christmas…”

2. I got my first night of Hannukah gift earlier tonight – I got a Camouflage jacket. I’ll probably return it… I just can’t see myself wearing it.

3. We were in the mall in Orlando doing some last minute holiday shopping when I learned that I have an irrational fear of escalators. It’s all good… I’m seeing a therapist and we’re taking it one step at a time.

4. Nothing like sitting in front of the fire on Christmas Eve with a hot bowl of soup – chicken, beef, vegetable – makes me feel like a boulionaire.

5. Still looking for the perfect gift? How about a broken drum. C’mon – nobody can beat that!

6. I got to thinking – how does Santa see in the dark? And that got me thinking – why is dark spelled with a K and not a C? And then it occurred to me, you can’t C in the dark!

7. Remember Pepperidge Farms holiday gift boxes? I found an even better website to order sausage – I’ll send you a link.

8. I promised not to make any geopolitical jokes. I wasn’t happy, but I gave in. You win some, Jerusalem.

9. A lot of alcohol is consumed during the holidays. Ironically, a study was JUST released about the impact of alcohol and walking. The results are staggering.

10. What do you call a wreathe made of $100 bills? Aretha Franklins!

11. Every year I make a calendar for my family. We received our 2024 edition and the 5th month was missing. I was dismayed, to say the least.

12. Let me warn you, I think it is wildly inappropriate for people to make holiday dad jokes if you’re not a dad. I feel very strongly that person is committing a faux pa.

Here’s wishing you and yours a safe, happy and healthy holiday season! And while you’re here, poke around the Red Apples Media website and see what we have to offer.